Ever Clever Eva Read online

  For my mother, who first told me the tale of Ever Clever Eva

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Author’s Note

  About the Author

  Chapter One

  Long, long ago in a little village just outside Prague, there lived two brothers.

  Master Jan was as rich as a treasure box, but his younger brother Eduard was as poor as a pebble. The poor brother had a young daughter called Eva.

  When Eva was 14 years old, her father reluctantly sent her out to work. There was only one job going in town and that was as a goose girl.

  This was no easy task, as geese are quite happy to bite the fingers that feed them. Even worse, it meant that Eva had to work for her rich uncle, who was well known for his meanness.

  Eva moved into her uncle’s farm.

  Every day, she rose at dawn to feed and water the cackling geese. After that, her chores were endless – washing dirty clothes, scrubbing floors, dusting surfaces, polishing old bits of brass and cooking the food.

  Each night, after eating the leftovers tossed away by her uncle, she fell asleep exhausted, but at least she knew the money would help her family.

  As was the custom, at the end of the year, Eva went before Master Jan and put out her hand.

  “I hope you’ve found my work satisfactory?”

  Master Jan rubbed his moustache. “It’ll do, I suppose,” he grumbled. “The geese haven’t died, and you haven’t managed to poison my food.”

  He turned back to his papers and ignored Eva’s outstretched hand.

  “I would like to be paid my wages for the last year,” said Eva.

  Master Jan looked up, surprised. “You would, would you? Hmmm…” He stuck his finger in his ear and dug around as if he might find the money in there. “Tell you what. I’ve got a lovely calf in the barn. When she’s fully grown, she will be yours to sell at the market. How does that sound?”

  Eva smiled. It was a good deal. Now she woke up every morning with a spring in her step and a smile that sat like the sun on her face. The geese were spoiled and the floors scrubbed until they shone.

  The time rushed by. All the while, Eva watched the calf grow fatter.

  After nearly two years, she stood before Master Jan once again.

  “Dear uncle, I hope you’ve found my work satisfactory?”

  Master Jan rubbed his moustache. “It’ll do, I suppose,” he grumbled. “The geese haven’t keeled over, and you haven’t managed to infect my food with some rare disease.”

  “Good!” said Eva. “I would now like the cow you promised, as I intend to take it to market this afternoon.”

  As she spoke, Eva looked forward to seeing the look on her father’s face when she brought home the money. There might even be some left over, once the rent was paid, to treat them all to a feast and some new clothes.

  Eva’s daydreams were interrupted.

  “Cow? What cow would that be?” The look of surprise on her uncle’s lying face was cunningly innocent. “Why would I give you a cow? You should be grateful that I feed you and give you a warm bed to sleep in!”

  The drafty hay barn was hardly the warmest bedroom in the world and the leftovers that Eva was lucky to scavenge did not make her grateful. In fact, she was fuming. Her uncle had gone back on his word! What should she do? There was no point staying at the farm and working for nothing.

  In a moment, Eva made up her mind. She ran from the room, down the stairs, out of the yard and away from the farm until at last she reached her family’s tiny cottage. There, she threw her arms round her father and sobbed out the whole sorry story.

  Eva’s father was furious. He stomped up the hill to his brother’s farm and ran up the stairs of the house two at a time. Before Master Jan could utter a word, his brother grabbed him by the ear and pulled hard.

  “You’re coming with me, you dishonest excuse for a scoundrel!”

  And with that, Eduard dragged him out of the farm and into the centre of Prague, right to the courthouse. The judge was sitting there in his purple robes on a big chair.

  Both brothers told their story.

  Master Jan made it sound like Eva was a lazy good-for-nothing with an eye on his hard-won fortune.

  Eduard made his daughter sound like a saint who had suffered severe hardship.

  The judge was an honest-minded man, but he didn’t know who to believe. He sat back on his chair and considered the situation and finally he came up with a solution that he thought rather clever. He decided the only way to solve the problem was to set a riddle and see who could give the right answer.

  “I want you both to go home tonight,” he told them, “then come back to my courtroom tomorrow morning with the answers to these three questions: What is sharpest? What is sweetest? What is richest?” He pointed to Master Jan. “And don’t forget to bring the cow!”

  Both men walked home feeling very gloomy. Master Jan had no idea of the answers. He might be rich, but he was also as thick as a dumpling. He begged his wife to help him.

  His wife, who had put up with him for too many years, took out a turnip and slapped him hard. “You potato head!” she said. “How did I ever manage to fall in love with you? The answer is easy as peas! What is sharpest is the tooth of our black dog! What is sweetest is our store of honey up in the loft! And what is richest is, of course, the box of gold hidden in the cellar! Now go away and make sure you remember to get the answer right in the morning.”

  Master Jan felt so relieved, he could almost have kissed his clever wife. He smiled a silly smile and slept well that night.

  When Eduard returned home, he told his daughter all about the riddle. He had no idea of the answer, and his heart was as heavy as a stone.

  “Don’t you worry yourself, dear father,” sang the girl. “Go to sleep now and, in the morning, I promise to give you the answers to the riddle!”

  That night, in her sleep, Eva’s brain churned round and round until the answers floated into her mind.

  When the day turned over the sky like a page in a book, Eva woke her father and whispered quietly in his ear. His gloomy face brightened like the sun. It looked like they were in with a chance after all!

  Chapter Two

  The next day dawned bright and clear. After listening to his daughter, Eduard went to the courthouse. On the way, he met his brother, who was leading the cow on a rope.

  Master Jan looked down his nose. “Good morning, Eduard! I don’t know why you bothered coming today. You know you’re going to lose.”

  But Eduard had put up with his brother’s taunts since they were little. Silence, for now, was the best answer.

  They finally arrived at the courthouse, where a servant took them before the judge.

  The judge did not want to offend the wealthiest inhabitant of the district, so he asked Master Jan to speak first.

  The rich brother stood up and took a deep breath. This was going to be a walkover. “I have the correct answer, my lord!”

  “You have? Let’s hear it, then!”

  Master Jan rattled off the responses to the three riddles. “Of course, what is sharpest are the teeth of our black dog, ready to bite anyone who comes near. What is sweetest is our honey, stored in the loft. What is richest,” and here Master Jan smiled, as if he had come up with the answer, “is the huge casket of gold that we keep hidden in the cellar of our house!”

  The judge nodded gravely as Master Jan waited for justice to be served in his favour.

  “Wrong!” announced the judge.

  Master Jan couldn’t believe his ears. His face went as red as a bee
troot. His greedy eyes bulged. This was impossible! He opened his chubby mouth to complain, but the judge raised his hand for silence.

  Now it was the turn of Eva’s father, who was feeling quite nervous.

  Eduard said a little prayer and opened his mouth. “What is sharpest,” he said quietly, “is the eye that sees the truth. What is sweetest is dreams at the end of a long and worry-filled day. And what is richest is, of course, the fruits of the earth that can feed us long after all the gold has melted away!”

  The judge sat back in his chair and beamed. This was more like it! “Absolutely right,” he said. “That settles the case. I do believe that the cow now belongs to your daughter.”

  Master Jan jumped up. “But… But…”

  “I will hear no appeals. Unless, that is, you fancy spending a few days in the lock-up for questioning my decision?”

  The judge waited for an answer, but Jan’s shoulders drooped as he shook his head in defeat.

  Jan stomped out of court, leaving his precious cow in the hands of his now not-so-poor brother.

  Eduard made to go but, before he could, he was summoned before the judge’s bench. There was a puzzled look on the official’s face.

  “Tell me, and tell me truthfully,” the judge asked. “Did you come up with the answer to the riddles all by yourself?”

  “No, your honour, it was my daughter, Eva,” Eduard answered.

  “Hmm…” said the judge. “Let me ask another question. Is your daughter fair?”

  It was a strange question to be asked, but Eva’s father did his best. “Put it this way, my lord. When she goes out walking, every man she meets has their eyes stolen, their lips silenced and their hearts thumping like a gong.”

  The judge’s eyes lit up. “Well, well well! Then I would be very interested in meeting this clever, and beautiful, daughter of yours,” he pronounced. “Tell her, if you will, to come to me neither by day nor by night, neither dressed nor undressed, neither shod nor unshod, neither riding a horse nor walking by foot!”

  Eduard’s face dropped. This was a tall order. He had won the case thanks to his daughter, but now the judge had set an even harder riddle. The thought of it made his head spin. He trailed home with the cow and put it to pasture.

  “Why the glum face?” said Eva. “You’ve brought home the cow, which shows you got the answer right.”

  “True, my fair one. The only problem is that afterwards the judge started asking about you!”

  “Why would he be interested in me?”

  “I told him that you came up with the answer and then I had to admit that you were a ravishing beauty!”

  Eva was pleased. “You think so?” she said, as she twirled a bit of her long, curly hair in her fingers.

  “You know I do, and now the judge does, too. He has summoned you to appear before him, but that’s just the start of it.” Eduard recounted the judge’s orders. “He insists that you come to him neither during the day or night. Not only that, but you musn’t be dressed or undressed. Nor can you be shod or unshod. And the final command is the most ridiculous. You have to arrive without walking or riding a horse!” Her father finished speaking and shook his head in despair.

  “Father, have I ever told you that you worry too much? The judge might be intelligent, but I think he’s finally met his match!” Eva had a determined look on her face. “Leave it to me!”

  At two o’clock the following morning, Eva woke up. Instead of putting on clothes, she jumped into a potato sack. On one foot she put a shoe but no stocking. On the other foot, a stocking but no shoe. Then she clambered onto the back of the cow she had rightly earned, and ambled into town.

  As the cow clattered up the cobbled streets, the clock struck three. It was the twilight time, when neither day nor night can decide who will win the fight to cover the sky. Eva reached the judge’s house and ordered the cow to stop. The cow gave a huge bellow, which echoed up and down the narrow alley and shook the windows.

  Up above, the shutters were thrown wide. The rudely awoken judge leaned out of the window. When he saw a girl wearing a sack, sitting on the back of a cow, he burst out laughing.

  “My dear young woman, you are so clever and, even wearing a sack, your beauty is beyond compare!”

  The judge was an impatient and decisive man. Without even blowing her a kiss, he asked Eva the biggest and most difficult question of her life: “Please will you marry me?”

  Eva looked him up and down from head to toe, thought for a second that he was not too bad-looking and said, “Why not!”

  “I am so glad to hear it.” The judge smiled as he leaned out of the window. “But you must promise me one thing before we take the plunge.”

  “And what’s that?” Eva asked, with a sweet smile on her moony face.

  “You must never interfere in my work as judge of this town.”

  “I promise with all my heart,” Eva replied, though she did wonder if it was a dangerous promise to make.

  All good things came to pass, and within three months they were married in the town church. The feasting and drinking went on all night and both Eva and the judge danced their knitted socks off. And so it was that after the honeymoon, Eva moved into the judge’s house in Prague, with her cow, which she put in the backyard.

  Chapter Three

  Eva and the judge were very happy together for a year and a day. On that day, Eva was out shopping in the market, when she saw a man sitting in a doorway, looking very sad and sorry for himself.

  “My dear fellow, why the frown on your face?” she asked.

  The man looked up and, seeing Eva’s pretty features, managed the briefest glimmer of a smile.

  “Good day, my lady. I would not dream to cast a shadow on your morning with my tale of woe.”

  “Try me,” said Eva. “I’m all ears.”

  “Oh, all right then.”

  The man told her about himself. He was the poor but proud owner of a young mare. His richer brother owned a stallion that he kept in a neighbouring field. One night, the frisky stallion had leapt the fence and a few months later, the mare gave birth to a foal. The poor man insisted the foal belonged to him, but so did his rich brother. They took the case before the judge of the town, who was normally known for his wisdom in such circumstances.

  “Yes, he is…” interrupted Eva. “Do go on.”

  But in this instance, the judge had come down on the side of the rich brother. The poor man wondered if it was something to do with his brother’s offer to contribute to the courthouse funds.

  “You mean, a bribe!” Eva was shocked.

  The poor man nodded his head.

  This was not on. Her husband had behaved like a fool and Eva decided action was needed.

  “I want you to do something for me,” she demanded. “And it might serve your purpose well.”

  “What’s the point?” wailed the poor man.

  “Oh, stop snivelling!” said Eva. “Just do as I say. My husband, the very judge you are speaking about, goes hunting on Skarman Hill just outside Prague every Saturday morning. I would like you to be there an hour before him. Take a fishing rod with you.”

  “A fishing rod?” The poor man looked puzzled.

  “Exactly. As my husband rides by, cast your line into the grass.”

  The man looked at Eva strangely. “My lady, have you been drinking?”

  “No!” said Eva, shocked. “Let me explain. My husband, being the rational fellow he is, will no doubt stop and say that you are mad.”

  “I am mad, to be listening to you, my lady. Fishing in the grass! Whatever next?”

  Eva smiled triumphantly. “And that’s my point. When he says that you are mad, you can tell him that you’re not as mad as he who believes that a stallion can give birth to a foal!”

  The poor man looked at Eva again. “Wow! That is clever. I am sorry for ever doubting you, my lady.”

  “Thank you,” said Eva. “But promise me you won’t tell my husband who gave you this idea.”<
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  The poor man gave his thanks and went on his way. The next morning, he rose early and took his fishing rod up into the meadow on top of Skarman Hill. He began to cast about for green fish, blue fish and flower fish, but apart from a few shoals of drifting mist, he didn’t catch a thing.

  After a while, the judge came riding by, off on his way to the hunt. When he saw a man fishing where there was no water, he shouted out, “You there, what are you doing?”

  “Fishing in the grass!” replied the poor man, with a grin as big as his face.

  “Fishing in the grass? Have you gone completely mad?” said the judge.

  “Not as mad as he who believes that a stallion can give birth to a foal!” replied the poor man.

  The judge went as red as a tomato. His eyes bulged. He opened his mouth in shock. “Very clever indeed! You shall have your foal after all. But tell me, and tell me truthfully, or I shall be forced to throw you in jail,” he threatened. “Was it you who thought of this idea?”

  The poor man shook with fear. He would have to break his promise.

  “No, sir, it was your wife Eva who told me...”

  “Right then,” said the judge, gloomily, and rode off in a rage. When he reached his house, he kicked the door open and shouted for his wife.

  Eva came walking down the stairs and looked him in the eye.

  The judge pointed his finger at her. “Remember what you promised me before we were married?”

  “Of course I do.” Eva knew what he was going to say.

  “You have interfered in my work and broken your promise,” he shouted angrily. “You must leave this house tomorrow morning, never to return!”

  “Look…” Eva argued. “I know what I said, but you have to admit you were wrong about the foal and the stallion. Surely justice is more important than a mere word?”

  “Oh, stop trying to convince me with your cleverness,” the judge ranted. He knew that Eva was right, but he was too proud to admit it. “You broke your promise and must accept the consequences.”